Post by WILLIAM MACMILLAN on Dec 26, 2008 0:16:34 GMT -5
* william alexander macmillan
twenty-one • classic asshole • will fuck nearly anything that moves • single, and that's not changing for anybody
twenty-one • classic asshole • will fuck nearly anything that moves • single, and that's not changing for anybody
chuck norris can slam a revolving door,
NEVER MET • • guns don't kill people. chuck norris kills people
JUST MET • • chuck norris does not sleep. he waits
AQUAINTANCES • • the chief export of chuck norris is pain
FIRST NAME BASIS • • chuck norris has two speeds. walk, and kill
NEW FRIENDS • • chuck norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls
OKAY FRIENDS • • chuck norris is my homeboy
FRIEND OF A FRIEND • • chuck norris doesn't go hunting.... chuck norris goes killing
ENEMY TURNED FRIEND • • chuck norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks
FAKE FRIENDS • • chuck norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves
FAMILY FRIEND • • chuck norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis
PARTY FRIENDS • • the first rule of chuck norris is: you do not talk about chuck norris
GOOD FRIENDS • • police label anyone attacking chuck norris as a suicide
CLOSE FRIENDS • • chuck norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them
CHILDHOOD FRIENDS • • if you spell chuck norris in scrabble, you win. forever
BEST FRIENDS • • america is not a democracy, it is a chucktatorship
ATTATCHED AT THE HIP • • time waits for no man. unless that man is chuck norris
INSEPERABLE • • chuck corris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths
LIKE FAMILY • • chuck norris sheds his skin twice a year
chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding,
HATRED • • when chuck norris falls in water, chuck norris doesn't get wet. water gets chuck norris
DISLIKE • • chuck norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
JEALOUSY • • chuck norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear
RIVALRY • • chuck norris can believe it's not butter
FRIENDLY RIVALRY • • chuck norris can divide by zero
FRIEND TURNED ENEMY • • a picture is worth a thousand words. a chuck norris is worth 1 billion words
BACKSTABBED • • chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. it's called chuck-will-kill.
CHEATED • • when chuck norris talks, everybody listens. and dies
LOST TRUST • • contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough chuck Norris to go around
ENEMIES BY ASSOCIATION • • chuck norris always knows the exact location of carmen sandiego
FAKE ENEMIES • • on his birthday, chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
SECRET HATE • • nobody doesn't like sara lee. except chuck norris.
FEAR • • chuck norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. chuck norris throws down
ANNOYANCE • • chuck norris has 12 moons. one of those moons is the earth
AVOIDANCE • • chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage
INDIFFERENCE • • chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king, and got one
TOLERANCE • • chuck norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds
chuck norris cannot love, he can only not kill,
FUTURE • • chuck norris can touch mc hammer
CURRENT • • chuck norris played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
FINAL • • there are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq, chuck norris lives in oklahoma
PAST-GOOD • • it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes
PAST-BAD • • superman wears chuck norris pajamas
PAST-W/ FEELINGS • • chuck norris doesn't step on toes. chuck norris steps on necks
FLIRTS • • chuck norris does not "style" his hair. it lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
FWB • • there is no such thing as global warming. chuck norris was cold, so he turned the sun up
EWB • • chuck norris did in fact, build rome in a day
ONE NIGHT STAND • • once you go norris, you are physically unable to go back
FUCK BUDDIES • • chuck norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick
CUDDLE BUDDIES • • chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. at night
MAKEOUT BUDDIES • • if at first you don't succeed, you're not chuck norris
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION • • chuck norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom
LUST • • the bible was originally titled "chuck norris and friends"
FLEETING GLANCES • • chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover
UNREQUITED LOVE • • as president roosevelt said: "we have nothing to fear but fear itself. and chuck norris"
ONE SIDED CRUSH • • industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. chuck norris needs toothpicks
MUTUAL CRUSH • • chuck norris was what willis was talkin' about
SECRET CRUSH • • in a fight between batman and darth vader, the winner would be chuck norris
chuck norris doesn't believe in germany,
FAMILY • • everybody loves raymond. except chuck norris
ROOMMATE • • chuck norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards
BANDMATE • • chuck norris doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is
ROLEMODEL • • when chuck norris does division, there are no remainders
GOOD INFLUENCE • • guantuanamo bay, cuba, is the military code-word for "chuck norris' basement"
BAD INFLUENCE • • chuck norris can taste lies
MIXED FEELINGS • • one time, chuck norris accidentally stubbed his toe. it destroyed the entire state of ohio
LOVE/HATE • • chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT • • chuck norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes
ADMIRATION • • chuck norris' first job was as a paperboy. there were no survivors
OBSESSION • • 182,000 americans die from chuck norris-related accidents every year
STALKER • • in the medical community, death is referred to as "chuck norris disease"
RESPECT • • chuck norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost
FAN • • if you work in an office with chuck norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch
chuck norris sleeps with a pillow
under his gun,
this plot page was made by, me, alyssa, and inspired by the
almighty chuck norris. all chuck norris facts came from chucknorissfacts.com.
there really aren't any rules for this. just use the code,
post in AND out of code, and make it interesting. you know how it
goes. i won't insult your intelligence.
under his gun,
this plot page was made by, me, alyssa, and inspired by the
almighty chuck norris. all chuck norris facts came from chucknorissfacts.com.
there really aren't any rules for this. just use the code,
post in AND out of code, and make it interesting. you know how it
goes. i won't insult your intelligence.
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